So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
