is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
