I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
