wrigley field is MILF paradise
I want to make a zoo with you.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize