yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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