It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
