I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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