He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
