Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
then he tried to convert me to islam
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
