I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
