remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
