"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize