Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I forget how to act sober
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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