God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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