I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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