i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
