I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize