Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
