I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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