ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize