I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You dont lie about slip and slides
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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