Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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