True but thats because hes a fetus.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this will be a night to untag.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
