508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Enjoy the penises
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
