people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
this just has baby written all over it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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