put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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