real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
