I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
