That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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