Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
