I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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