I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
