Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Four minutes until I can fart!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
