Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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