I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
