So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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