I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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