Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize