question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize