White coat. Heels.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i now understand why vodka
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
