I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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