i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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