Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
