I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
