There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize