just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
