Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize