Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
