Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
