Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
