I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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