I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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