They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Alive.
So much puke
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
