I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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