look no pants
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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