And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
