Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
