Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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