Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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