my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
