i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
nutella sex= disaster
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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