i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
