I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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