giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize