Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
