Betty ford says i'm here all night
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
