my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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