I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
