I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
