Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
