ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize