so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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