Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
