my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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