She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize