he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Found the puke drawer
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
