Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm like, not good at living.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
