I wish I could teleport
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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