so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
