I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
