Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
