Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
