please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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