How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
