Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
