lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Me too!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
