North Korea, Best Korea!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize